Nielsen Troubles
by Orange Ratchet
Summary: After being selected to be a Nielsen family, the Loud siblings all have to adjust to the new restrictions regarding the TV. However, when Lana discovers a new show that she likes, she is determined to do anything it takes to make sure her favorite show gets watched... even if she has to get Lisa to rig the box. Will things go right for Lana, or will the Loud House be in trouble?
1. Getting the Nielsen Box

Here's a new story for the Loud House fans! This was boiling in the back of my mind and well, figured I do a bit of a take on this concept! Anyway, enjoy!

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Every day in the living room, there was always a battle on who would get the TV for a limited time. It was always like that around the Loud family home. But... today was a very... unusual day because the time they take to fight... had to be delayed when all ten Loud sisters and Lincoln were looking from down the stairs to see what was going on.

Downstairs, they watched as their parents were talking to a man downstairs as he seemed to be connecting a box.

"Who do you think that is?" Lynn whispered.

"No idea." Lincoln said.

"You don't think that man is going to take away our TV, do you?" Leni said in worry.

"I'm sure the TV's going to be fine. He looks more like a repairman to me." Luna whispered.

"Please, since when does a repairman come over and..." Lisa started to roll her eyes.

"Ahem..." All the sisters said as Lori pulled out a book entitled 'The Times A Loud Sibling Broke Anything'.

Lisa paused. "...point taken."

"I think we're in trouble, but the question is... which one of us even broke the TV?" Lori asked, worried.

"It depends on who used it last." Lucy said, causing everyone to quietly yelp, seeing that she was in the middle, watching.

"...well... I know I didn't use it last." Leni said. "Lori and I were watching a fashion show for an hour before we gave the remote to Lola."

Everyone turned to Lola, her eyes widened in shock. "It wasn't me either. I only tuned into the program to see when the announcement for the next beauty pageant would be! I gave it to Lana afterwards."

Everyone turned to Lana, who shook her head. "Watched a half hour of classic cartoons, then gave the remote to Luan."

"Comedy for me." Luan said. "Then handed it to..."

"All right, I think we get the idea." Lincoln said. "Look, whatever happens, we're being cool. Just act calm, but guilty as if not knowing what you did... even though we really don't know what we did."

Everyone looked at Lincoln before Lisa said, "Lincoln DOES have a good idea."

Everyone nodded as Lincoln gave a sigh of relief.

"He's leaving, he's leaving!" Lynn whispered as everyone turned their heads to see the man leaving as the parents waved good-bye at him.

After a moment, all the Loud siblings heard Mr. Loud calling, "Kids? We need you all downstairs."

"All right, here goes nothing." Lincoln said as he and the Loud sisters started marching down guiltily.

That raised a couple eyebrows in the Loud parents as Mrs. Loud coughed, "Kids, what's with the guilty looks?"

Lincoln looked up. "What did we do?"

"Do? Whatever do you mean, Lincoln?" Mrs. Loud asked.

"Well... you had a repairman come over to look at the TV and..." Leni paused as she noticed the new box sitting atop the TV. "Uh... what's this?"

The other kids noticed the box sitting atop the TV too as Mr. and Mrs. Loud laughed. "Kids, you're not in trouble. We have some good news for you. That box you see here is a Nielsen box. And the Loud family, for only two months, are going to become a Nielsen family!"

Everyone gasped as they looked at each other. Lori said in excitement, "You mean, we're going to be..."

Mr. Loud smiled and said, "Yes."

"Wait... we're changing our names to Nielsen?" Leni asked. "I just learned how to spell Loud!"

Everyone looked at Leni as Lynn shook her head. "No, Leni, we're not changing our name to Nielsen. See, that box over there is a Nielsen ratings box... a people log, if you will."

"Exactly." Lisa nodded. "Anybody knows that this box measures what we watch on TV."

"Always the smart girl you are, Lisa..." Mr. Loud said as she shuffled Lisa's hair. "Anyway, our family got selected for a two month free trial for the Nielsens' rating system, so when we watch TV, it'll record what we watch every day."

"Cool!" Lincoln said in surprise. "So, if, say, I were to watch one of my shows, that box there will know I watched the show?"

"Indeed. And each week, someone will come by and take the ratings from the box and deliver them to a nearby network and configure how much the whole world watches your particular show... and if the show is good, that means it's pretty high up." Mrs. Loud said.

"Wow..." Everyone said in amazement... before immediately starting to turn on each other as they began to jump each other.

"IT'S MINE!"

"I WANT TO WATCH MY SHOW FIRST!"

"MINE!"

"COME ON! I WANT MY FAVORITE SHOW TO BE PART OF THE RATINGS SYSTEM!"

"KIDS!" Mrs. Loud yelled, causing every Loud sibling to stop fighting. Mrs. Loud took a deep breath. "That's... also another thing we wanted to talk to you about... I know lately you've all want to see what show you watch and what not... but we have cleverly devised a system... that's why, for each Loud sibling here... we're only allowing you to watch two hours of TV. Every day, two hours. No more, no less, UNLESS something important is on that we all want to see, but other than that, those are the rules."

All the Loud siblings looked up in surprise, then groaned as they looked down.

"So, we're going to be setting up a schedule, so... don't touch the Nielsen box or even turn on the TV... not that that's possible, since you need to know our log-in number, so... until we figure out a schedule, find something to occupy yourselves until we figure it out... fair enough?" Mr. Loud said.

Everyone looked down, but knew they would be fighting a losing battle if arguing with their parents, so they just gave a nod.

"Very good." Mr. Loud said with a grin. "I think that's all for now, you go on ahead and we'll let you know about the schedules..."

Everyone sighed as they started to go back upstairs.

* * *

The Loud siblings were later seen gathered around in Lori and Leni's room as Lori coughed. "Okay, so I think we know it's pretty obvious why I called you all here."

"Yeah, kind of obvious..." Lisa nodded as Luna held Lily close.

"So... do you really think we need a schedule?" Lola asked.

"Well, I think it's a pretty good idea." Luan smiled. "I mean, we all have to suffer if at least one of our shows is on at the same time as the other... and maybe it'll lessen the fighting around here..."

"I guess it would be a little healthy for us." Leni said. "But still, two hours a day?"

"It's just parents' idea of saying, 'Let's show some control and restraint'." Lincoln said. "And why not? This Nielsen box is here, so whatever program we watch is part of it."

"I suppose so, Lincoln, but still... how will we know which shows to watch?" Luna asked.

"I don't think we will... I guess the only way to know is the Nielsen ratings... I'm sure they'll know for themselves." Lincoln said.

"Oh, you know, this might not be so bad." Lana smiled. "I mean, I only take about an hour to watch TV, so I can live with that."

"I just hope I can still watch my sporting events..." Lynn sighed. "I know there's a big football game coming up..."

"I can give you my extra hour." Lana smiled.

Lynn paused. "Sounds like a fair deal."

"Then it's settled. I guess we're just going to have to adjust to the new rules, then." Lori explained.

"Awesome!" Lana said as all the Loud siblings nodded to each other. This looked like it was going to be an interesting two months for the Loud House.

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And with that, the first chapter is done! How did you guys like it? Anyway, read, review, criticize and suggest, folks!


	2. Lana Gets Invested

Here's the next chapter! Anyway, enjoy!

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About a couple of days later, the Loud kids were doing well in keeping a schedule when it concerned television. Downstairs, Lori and Leni were sitting down at the TV, though they weren't really paying attention to what was going on as Leni was reading a magazine, with Lori texting on her phone.

It wasn't until Lana was surfing downstairs on the rail, screaming in delight as she jumped off. Lana gave a smile as she looked over... then frowned as she crossed her arms to see Leni and Lori weren't even looking at the TV. "You know, you two, for someone who's excited to be a Nielsen family, you are not taking advantage of programming quite well!"

Lori frowned as she scoffed. "Of course we are. We're using our two hours wisely."

It was then Lori noticed that the TV was on the five o'clock news. "The program's over already? Leni, why didn't you say anything?"

"Huh?" Leni asked as she looked up from her magazine.

Lana scoffed as she rolled her eyes. "Come on, you guys. You two haven't really been using this TV as much, and we're supposed to take advantage of this TV as much as possible! Why use your hours when you're not going to watch TV?"

"Well, how else am I going to give Bobby my texts!" Lori frowned.

"What are you even texting him for, anyway?" Lana asked.

Leni looked up as she said, "Oh, Lori's texting Bobby about the amount of sm-"

Lori yelped as she covered Leni's mouth, gagging her. Lori smiled nervously as she said, "Smart phones! Which Bobby is thinking about upgrading his."

Lana frowned. "Uh-huh. Look, if you're not watching the television, may I use my hours?"

Lori and Leni looked at each other as Leni got up. "I'm good."

"And just about done with my hours, I suppose." Lori rolled her eyes as she got up. "TV's all yours."

Lana squealed in delight as she hopped on the couch and kept switching channels.

"Have at it." Lori smiled as she glared at Leni.

"Hi, Lori." Leni gave a smile... before yelping as Lori started pulling her ear. "Ow, ow, ow!"

"Leni, can we talk about how NOT to reveal my personal life?" Lori asked as she dragged Leni upstairs.

Lana sighed as she kept switching and switching. Lana frowned as she put the remote down. "Ugh, there is nothing good on here... and I know Lynn's coming in a half hour to watch her game..."

At that moment, the door opened up as Lynn's voice yelled out, "And here comes a fast one!"

Lincoln ran inside as he quickly jumped up and caught the football. Lynn came in and cheered wildly as she waved her hand around in excitement. "Can I hear a whoo-whoo!"

Lincoln groaned as he looked over at Lynn. "Lynn, you know perfectly well our parents say not to play ball inside the house. Why do you keep throwing them?"

"What can I say, bro?" Lynn shrugged. "I just can't help myself."

Lynn then turned to see Lana trying to flip through the channels as she smiled. "Hey, Lany-Lan-Lana! Using up your hour?"

"Just starting on it..." Lana sighed.

"Well, just so you know, I have a football game coming up in a half-hour, so make sure you save that seat for me, will ya?" Lynn winked.

"All right, sure." Lana smiled... then muttered as she kept flipping channels. "As soon as I find something good I could just enjoy."

Lincoln rolled his eyes as he turned towards a wall and lifted his eyebrows.

"Think fast, Lincoln!"

Lincoln yelped as he jumped up and grabbed the football from his hand. He glared at Lynn as she laughed. "Well, I'm going to go up and prepare for my upcoming football game! You just find something you enjoy, Lana!"

"Whatever..." Lana sighed as Lynn went upstairs. Lana groaned. "But right now, there's nothing I can find that's good!"

Lincoln looked over at Lana, feeling sorry for her. But before he could come over, he heard the doorbell ringing. Lincoln raised an eyebrow before coming over and opening it... surprised to see Ronnie Anne with shocked eyes and a traumatized like look as her eye twitched.

"Uh... hi, Ronnie Anne." Lincoln said, raising an eyebrow.

Ronnie Anne then hugged Lincoln with all her might as Lincoln yelped as he whispered, "Easy, my sister's right there, and you know how she and everyone else is..."

"Sorry... I needed to get away from the house for a while... especially Bobby... he and Lori were doing dirty things on their phones!" Ronnie Anne shuddered.

"What?" Lincoln asked.

"Yeah, they say they're texting about smart phones, but... ugh, I don't wanna think about it anymore!" Ronnie Anne said, shuddering. "I am NOT looking forward to our teenage years, I'll just say that much."

Ronnie Anne then looked up and noticed the Nielsen Box on their TV as her mind was immediately changed. "Oh hey, is that one of those box things that lets you steal cable? I didn't even think cable TV existed, with the use of satellite TV nowadays!"

"Oh no, Ronnie Anne, the Loud Family has been selected to become one of those TV ratings families." Lincoln explained.

"No kiddin'?" Ronnie Anne asked. "Well, with a big family like yours, it makes sense. Two parents, ten girls, one boy... four pets... the perfect American family."

"Well, I wouldn't say we're "perfect", but..." Lincoln blushed.

"But I wouldn't bother with something like a Nielsen box." Ronnie Anne explained.

Lana, who had only been listening to bits and pieces while changing channels, raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"Because all the best programming in a Nielsen family never wins... it's either 'let's watch our favorite show', or 'let's watch sports' or 'hey, let's watch this awesome reality show, I love to see another season of people starving in the wild'! Any good programming that somehow comes in last in the ratings is doomed to last one season... if they're lucky, two or three." Ronnie Anne explained as she grabbed the remote from Lana. "Case in point..."

Ronnie Anne flipped through a couple of channels as she tuned in to a rerun of 'Milliman's Coast'. "Milliman's Coast. It got good ratings for its time back in the sixties... but then ratings started to lower and eventually it went on to syndication."

"Didn't they try to revive that show?" Lincoln asked.

"Oh yeah, they did... as a reality program!" Ronnie Anne frowned. "I guess a much more recent example is this show..."

Ronnie Anne then flipped through the channel as she stopped at a certain cartoon program as a very, VERY catchy tune was playing.

"This show, Y-Men Beyond!" Ronnie Anne smiled as she bobbed her head to the tune. This one caught Lana's attention as her eyes widened in mere curiosity. "This show just began the run, and while it was very anticipated... it had very low ratings and Internet People started to not like the series due to its'... unusual nature. Still an awesome catchy theme song though."

Lana's eyes kept watching as soon as the theme song to the show ended. Lana's eyes were immediately glued to the TV as Ronnie Anne laughed, tossing the remote back to Lana. "To make my point, sometimes, even the best gems or the worst ones aren't what they used to be..."

"Yeah... uh, Ronnie Anne, do you want to stay with me and help out with homework tonight? You seem a little tense." Lincoln asked.

"As long as I'm away from your hormonal older sister texting my hormonal older brother, I'm okay with whatever." Ronnie Anne said.

"Eh, don't worry, teenagers just get to that age. It's inevitable. I don't know what they think about, but I'm sure we'll be thinking it soon." Lincoln said as he and Ronnie Anne went upstairs.

"Please don't put any more of those thoughts in my head, Lincoln, please!" Ronnie Anne shuddered as soon Lana was left alone, watching Y-Men Beyond.

"This show..." Lana said to herself. "IS AMAZING!"

She settled down as she looked really excited. There was no way anybody was going to prevent her from watching this show!

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With that, the second chapter is done! How did you guys like it? Anyway, read, review, criticize and suggest, folks!


	3. Asking About Ratings and Lana's Plan

All right, I think it's time this story got updated with this next chapter! Anyway, enjoy!

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It was about three days after Lana had recently discovered her brand new favorite show, Y-Men Beyond. In fact, she became so desperate in watching the show, she would actively beg for anyone to spend their two hours just to get the show watched, but she got rebuffed. Lana wasn't thrilled that she wasn't getting her way, so she had to resort to online research and videos on Lori's phone just so she could catch the show.

Unfortunately, the day that Lana had a hold of Lori's phone was also the day Lori was having her period, so... she was less than thrilled.

"Lana. Phone. Hand over. Now. Before. I. Blow. A. Gasket."

Needless to say, Lana was disappointed. Lana sighed as she walked out of her and Leni's room and leaned over towards Lincoln's door, giving a sigh. As if on cue, Lincoln was opening the door as he saw Lana leaning towards it. "Lana, I can't get out the door when you're leaning on it."

"Sorry." Lana said as she moved out of the way as Lincoln opened the door. "Is it all right if I ask you a question, Lincoln?"

"Shoot." Lincoln raised an eyebrow.

"Well... as you know, for the past three days, I have been watching a show called 'Y-Men Beyond', and I can't get enough of this show! It's very funny and hilarious for a superhero cartoon! Why would it get such crummy ratings?" Lana asked as she sat down.

Lincoln paused as he motioned Lana over to his room. Lana followed as Lincoln sat down on his bed, Lana sitting beside him. Lincoln leaned over and put a hand on his little sister's shoulder as he tried to explain, "For one thing, the show isn't that funny. It's not even good, it's obnoxious and annoying. If it were a good superhero show, with good comedy and very, VERY serious moments, I would probably take it seriously as a show, but as it is, no."

Lana paused. "Oh. And the other thing?"

"...nobody really watches that show." Lincoln said.

"Oh." Lana said as she looked over to Lincoln. "My next question is..."

"I thought it was just the one question?" Lincoln raised an eyebrow.

"This is the Daily Double." Lana frowned. "What happens to a show when the ratings get bad?"

"Naturally... it gets cancelled." Lincoln said.

Lana merely choked a bit as she sputtered, "C-c-c-cancelled? As in, Y-Men Beyond will be no more? As in... R.I.P. Y-Men Beyond? As in, I'm not going to see this show on TV ever again?"

"Maybe it'll air again somewhere in syndication, but we can only hope." Lincoln said. "Anyway, if that's all..."

"Final Jeopardy question..." Lana said before Lincoln could get up. Lana paused to think... then nodded. "Okay, so if Y-Men Beyond has bad ratings, it would be cancelled, right? BUT... if more people watched the show, would the ratings go up?"

Lincoln paused... before finding his answer. "Yes, but it would take a mere miracle. Now, if there are no more questions..."

"No, I'm done. Thank you, Lincoln." Lana said as she got up from Lincoln's bed and out of his room as Lincoln shut the door. Lana looked down as she gave a sigh... before noticing Lisa working on chemicals in her room. Lana's eyes widened as she paused to think.

Inside, Lisa was busy being careful trying to put one drop inside her beaker as Lana carefully snuck over. Lana leaned towards Lisa's ear as she opened her mouth. "Hi..."

Lisa yelped as she inadvertently mixed up the chemicals, causing them to shoot a hole through the roof. Lisa gave a frowned as she turned towards the smiling Lana. "Subject Twin number one... you currently have two missing teeth. Would you like to try for five missing teeth?"

"You know, I could use the money from the Tooth Fairy..." Lana paused... then shook her head. "Actually, I came over to ask a favor. I want you to find a way to rig the Nielsen Box ratings to make Y-Men Beyond number one everywhere."

"Why would I ever find interest in doing so?" Lisa frowned as she turned around, pulling out a cloth to clean up the mess the chemicals had caused on the table..

Lana gave a smirk. "Have you ever been so curious as to what's inside that box? The multiple wires, the metal inside..."

Lisa stopped short as she paused to think. Lana smirked as Lisa's eyes were starting to widen at the idea. "Figuring out how a small box can keep track of what we watch... doesn't it bug you? Doesn't your scientific mind want to know the possibilities on how the box can work?"

Lisa shut her eyes, trying to resist. "Yes, I'm curious about that box, but I know better, I'm a smart scientist, I have a PHd, I..."

"...am four years old and still can't resist... this." Lana said, pulling out a bag of candy.

Lisa's eyes widened as Lana shook the bag in front of her face. Lisa groaned as she said, "Curse my four year old body and the odd desire for want of sweets! And curse my curious mind! Grr... all right, fine. What do you want me to do?"

* * *

"I can't believe I'm about to do this..." Lisa whispered as she and Lana were carefully sneaking downstairs towards the TV, everybody was now in bed, asleep, no cares in the world.

"There's the box." Lana said as she pointed to the box on top of the TV.

Lisa gave a nod as she went to the kitchen and pulled a chair, but yelped upon seeing that it made some noise. Lisa frowned as she looked upstairs, then towards the other room, where their parents were sleeping. The young scientist girl sighed in relief as she pulled out four rubber nubs and started to put them on the steps of the chair. Feeling more secure, the bespectacled girl nodded as she motioned over to Lana. The older-by-two-years girl nodded as she came over and helped with the chair, getting it near the TV.

As soon as Lana lifted Lisa up towards the chair, Lisa started to climb up as she secured the box. As she was about to lift it, she noticed that there were wires connected to where the TV is. After a slight moment, Lisa started to pull the cables off carefully as she laid them on top of the TV, indicating to take them out later.

Lisa gave a smirk as she lifted the box in triumph. Lana gave a happy smile as she pulled out a screwdriver.

"All right, I'll take it apart, and you study the scientifics. Once we do that, we'll see if we can rig the ratings!" Lana smiled.

"This, my dear sibling, is going to be a most curious, yet interesting experience." Lisa returned the smile back as Lana started to take apart the box.

Lana gave a nod. Hopefully, her plan would work.

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And the third chapter is done! How did you guys like it? Anyway, read, review, criticize and suggest, folks!


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